Monday, January 5, 2015

What They Don't Tell You About Being an Adult


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I am a friendly person. All my life I've had an easy time of making friends. I'm the person that the introvert stands beside at a party so they don't have to talk to strangers. Only, now that I am a grown up and moved away from my college friends, I don't get invited to parties.

If you're like me, you're a product of a mobile global world. You no longer live in the town you grew up in, nor do you still live in the same community you went to college. You've likely changed jobs a few times since and still have long distance conversations with your closest friends. You spend more time on Netflix and Facebook than you do meeting people--and trouble is, so do all the other adults like us.

The question remains, where do grown ups make friends? I've got some ideas that I'm committed to try this year. Post in the comments things that work for you.

1) Join a group on Meet Up. 

www.meetup.com is a website that sounds sketchier than it is. It's NOT for hook-ups and sleazy relations like Tinder and other infamous sites. It's geared for finding people in your area with similar interests. Social media driven by strangers who love meeting new friends. There's groups for Hiking, Movies, Pubs, Restaurants, Concerts and many other interests. There's accountability as it's all public, so you don't have to worry about security like with other apps or websites.

http://www.everywhereist.com/meeting-online-friends-for-the-first-time-my-10-safety-tips/ Has some good tips about meeting friends from online in public for the first time.

2) Work friends

Never underestimate the people you spend your days with. Some of you are fortunate enough to work in a place that has a lot of people. When we're kids, we are friends with our classmates. In college, we're friends with our roommates and dorm mates. Why do we stop this when we enter the working world? My workplace has a lunch room. There I put my friendly nature into play by asking simple get to know you questions. Facebook has sort of ruined this for us. It lays out everyone's likes, dislikes, friends and hobbies. At work, we actually have to figure those things out for ourselves. Pay attention to the work room chat and jump in. Here's a few things to keep in mind.

http://www.careerealism.com/friends-work/

3) Take yourself on cool dates

At first, this one felt really awkward.

Taking myself out places that are usually reserved for couples and friend groups leaves you feeling vulnerable. After a while though, regulars at pubs, parks, cinemas and cafes started to recognize me. Before too long I had some new friends. Sometimes, I end up having a really nice time by myself. More often than not though I end up finding the only other brave single person there and we band together. Safety tips for this are similar as meeting online friends--always tell SOMEONE where you are going and when you plan to be home again. My most famous phrase is 'if you don't see me post on Facebook tonight--call my cellphone'.

Basically, have fun, be yourself, don't over think it, be safe and talk to other people and not your phone. Our biggest detriment to our success is our smart phone. We text people to tell them how lonely we are when we could just talk to the person next to us who is doing the exact same thing.

Add your voice:

Post in the comments any friend catching ideas that have worked for you.

2 comments:

  1. I have never heard of Meetup.com but since reading this post I have and I cant believe how many groups are around my area. Thanks for the post I learned something new today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meetup.com is probably the most under-rated and helpful website that there is out there right now.

      Delete

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