You may have been wondering where I've been for the past week. After steady blog posts, more than a week of quiet makes readers wonder if you've lost your drive. I'm here to say it's quite the opposite.
I took a step back and had some time to reflect on recent events. I've had sit downs with friends, family and strangers on all points of the spectrum as it relates to faith and sexuality. For the most part I am greatly encouraged.
For a long time, I haven't been doing the things that bring me joy. All of my actions over the past while have been what's expected of me in public and I hid the real me behind closed doors. I'm not just talking about gender identity and sexuality.
We cannot choose which parts of our true selves we shut off. It's like a light switch, it's either on or it's off. I was deeply depressed because I lost joy in the things that made me who I am. I had quit music, I had quit reading for pleasure, I had quit writing (outside of schoolwork) and I had quit being outside. I was hiding. I was scared.
This week I did a few things that I haven't done in a long time. I read a 600 page novel in under two days, I went on a couple outdoor outings by myself, I restyled my hair in a crazy way and I spent an entire day in my pyjamas. I am actively rediscovering who I was before I started hiding.
Most importantly, I am doing it with Jesus every step of the way. God is reintroducing me to the intricate, fun and beautiful ways that he's made me--and it's giving me appreciation for those around me.
I used to feel contempt and annoyance for people who were freely themselves when really I was just jealous that they didn't seem to be afraid. I thought them naive when really I was just scared. Not everyone is will support and endorse everything we become, but you have to be your own biggest fan--can you live with the person you're becoming--or like me do you need to pause and re-introduce yourself.
My thoughts and scribbles ranging from noble to nonsense. Like, share, comment, enjoy! https://www.gofundme.com/cherylfolland
Showing posts with label Seeking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seeking. Show all posts
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Monday, July 20, 2015
Following
Following has never been easy
this path is overgrown
so long I've been climbing
this great mountain
on my own
Looking over my shoulder
I see how far I've come
By Your strength I can reach the top
spend all my days
with the Son
So I place my foot where
Your steps have led me
cling to the promise I'll see You soon
I climb this mountain
as Your Spirit whispers
"I am here with you"
Each trial deep, dark and daunting
is like a cavern wide
the Truth gives me all the courage
I'll ever need
to reach the other side
So I place my foot where
Your steps have led me
cling to the promise I'll see You soon
I'll cross this canyon
as Your Spirit whispers
"I am here with you"
Gazing up to Heaven
I see a glimmer of Your Glory
Your Son brought love, peace and joy
by the tragic cross
rewrote my story
He rewrote my story
So I'll place my foot where
Your steps have led me
I'll cling to the promise I'll see You soon
I'll dance like David when I reach this summit
Cause I'll be there with You
I'll be there with You
I am here with You
--Cheryl Folland
I wrote this May long weekend 2015 while on a camping trip with some friends. I was sitting on the river bank looking out at all the beauty and reflecting on my life. And then God gave me these words. I am hoping to building them into a song. If you'd like to try your hand at it, go for it and post a video of the finished product. Who knows, it could end up on my album the way that you compose it!
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Saturday, July 18, 2015
Untitled
At the cross I lay it down
exchanging burdens for a crown
receiving truth, grace and life
rejoicing in this sacrifice.
Truth restores my tired mind
grace covers what's left behind
life revives the death in me
for Your glory, set me free.
Free me from my sin and doubt
cleanse me from the inside out
remove each ounce of fear in me
for Your glory, set me free.
Joy is here for those who come
open hearts receive Your Love
the new is here the old is done
by Your grace we've been reborn.
Sung in the style of a hymn where each phrase has a slight key change giving the final verse a tone of excited victory!
--Cheryl Folland May 2015.
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Tuesday, April 7, 2015
A Truth Spoke Harshly: Learning from the Ephesian Epistle Pt III
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:14-16
What's the point --Literally??
When followers of Christ learn to use their gifts in unity and walk in the knowledge of their identity in Christ and the power of the Gospel Ephesians 4:7-13 they begin to mature. It's immature to follow each new teaching that comes along without taking each of those teachings back to the source of all truth--that is scripture. This can be tricky as many false teachers are well read and have a great amount of charisma. Their clever speech and heartfelt passion can keep people in their immaturity and even lead them astray. The word "instead" in verse fifteen points back to the previous passage of scripture. By walking in unity with the body of Christ, believers become mature and in turn it's now their role to guide up the generation behind them. The method of doing this is "truth in love" that supports one another. This love is what binds believers together and enables them to accomplish the good works they're called to. Ephesians 2:10
What's the point--Personally?
I want to share about two things that I learned studying this passage. One of them was as I was reading, and one of them was a repeat experience in my life.
Firstly, as I become more knowledgeable in Christ and more firm in my calling--I become more mature in my faith. This means that my role, by design, is to lead new and less mature (I avoided the word immature here on purpose) believers in there faith journey. I've been given partial responsibility to guide new believers and to help them discern the truth-tellers in their life.
Secondly, the only way any of this is effective is truth delivered in love. Recently, I was at an event and a message (albeit true) was delivered so harshly and violently that myself and my friends left shaken and with a sour taste in our mouths. I don't think it is a coincidence that the passage I am studying is mirroring life. I feel like sometimes God likes to teach us through object lessons--it's the part of the relationship that I love the most. Those times when you can see God at work in the little things once they all line up. Thinking back over that message (and a few conversations I've had myself) I can see how truth can be a stumbling block to people if it's delivered without love and compassion.
Throughout scripture Jesus seemed to save rebuke for those who already claimed to be religious and were not listening to the truth. Those who knew not, he spoke with humility of spirit and love. He still told people to 'go and sin no more' but he didn't do so harshly. I think of when the rich young man came to him and asked how to have eternal life Matthew 19:16-21 Jesus responded in a way that invited conversation. Imagine if he said "Well, you're going to find it impossible..." with a hint of sarcasm? Or if he shouted at the woman caught in adultery about how much of a promiscuous immoral person she was? The gospel of love and hope that he was offering would have lost it's draw and it's power over them.
Take away: I want the love in my life to make the truth I'm entrusted with irresistible. How about you?
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
One Big Picture: Learning from the Ephesian Epistle Pt II
Continuing the walk through chapter 4 of Apostle Paul's letter to the Church in Ephesus. You can read the first post here. It explains the process so you can study on your own if you want.
7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.
8 This is why it says:“When he ascended on high, he took many captives
and gave gifts to his people.”
9 (What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? 10 He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
Scripture taken from Biblegateway
What's the point?
1) What's the point literally?
Jesus gave each of God's children different gifts and abilities so that we have to work together/rely on one another--in unity to have His purpose for our lives accomplished.
Now, that sounds really simple doesn't it. Funny thing, it really is that simple. "But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it." The meaning of the word grace (found here ) is really interesting. The grace we've been given 'kindles us to exercise Christian virtues".
Paul had just finished explaining what the characteristics of a redeemed person look like, and here he's telling the church at Ephesus that Christ already gave them the grace to walk confidently and successfully in those virtues!
Semantics Antics
Apportioned-- Each person gets a gift or gift set that was chosen specifically for them. Christ gave grace in proportion to the gifts. "Portion" the root of apportioned, intimates that the grace we each receive is part of a greater whole. We are pieces that fit together from the same source--complete in the original, that is Jesus.
2)What's the point personally?
Our gifts are meant to be used in unity. The unity comes from the source of the grace we each have. There's no valid reason to be jealous or envious of another's gifts. Just like the grace we have to enable the use of these God given virtues, the virtues themselves are from that same source and fit together perfectly.
I used to think that unity in Christ was more about getting along with one another. After all, they will know us by our love for one another. It seems that there's more to it than that. Unity in mind and purpose is the only ways the gifts can work together. If I have a heart of jealousy towards someone, it's unlikely that my heart will be sensitive to hear God's voice, to meet their needs, or to be helpful in anyway. Now, if we champion one another, kindling each other to express the virtues (the gifts and fruits) that Christ empowered us by His grace proportionately--imagine what can be accomplished!
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Learning from the Ephesian Epistle Pt I
I've decided to begin a series. Essentially, I will be sharing my own learning journey and what I've gleaned as I work through chapter four of the Apostle Paul's book the the Church at Ephesus.
Someone once taught me the best and simplest way to study scripture is to ask simple questions. It's not as far beyond us as we like to pretend. God inspired real people to write it, which stands to reason that with the right mindset real people can understand it.
So, let's start with a simple yet loaded question and break it into two parts.
What's the point?
Before you laugh, I phrased it this way so that I would remember the question in the first place!
So, what's the point. What's the point LITERALLY and what's the point PERSONALLY.
This is what it means to live according to having new life through Jesus (verse 1)--being a person who exhibits humility, gentleness, patience, loving others (verse 2) and having relationships with others that are marked by unity (which takes a lot of effort; verse 3).
Paul was comparing the current lives of the people in Ephesus with how a life ought to be marked. The thing I love about this is that he lived up to his own advice. He didn't make a long list of all the things they were doing wrong as people. He just plainly pointed out how life SHOULD look for someone who identifies with Jesus.
I erroneously think that because peace, patience , kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control and compassion are fruits of the Spirit that I shouldn't have to work hard to cultivate them. I get upset that I've not mastered certain skills and fruits in my life because I have unrealistic expectations to "arrive" in these areas simply because I am redeemed. Because of this I don't cut myself a break as I learn and grow --or others for that matter.
This hardness of heart HUGELY undermines unity and is about as self (and others) loathing as it gets. To beat oneself and others up for faith being a process is ridiculous; where is the love in that?
The goal should be to love people without expectations, without judgement and without strings attached. Below are three practical responses that I've chosen for myself. Yours might be different, feel free to add them to the comments.
...let it run it's course. There's no need to point out a folly of someone and shame them. When did shame ever lead to a good thing in my own life? I will choose to lead by example in this area.
...be gentle and kind. Both to them and to the person or people that have been hurt.
...to count the cost of my words and actions as they relate to others. Is it really worth the discord and destruction just to be right? Just to make my point? To have my own way in this situation?
Make it simple:
4 As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Scripture quote courtesy of Biblegateway )
Someone once taught me the best and simplest way to study scripture is to ask simple questions. It's not as far beyond us as we like to pretend. God inspired real people to write it, which stands to reason that with the right mindset real people can understand it.
So, let's start with a simple yet loaded question and break it into two parts.
What's the point?
Before you laugh, I phrased it this way so that I would remember the question in the first place!
So, what's the point. What's the point LITERALLY and what's the point PERSONALLY.
1) Literally--The point that the writer was addressing in as little words as you can manage. Here's mine:
This is what it means to live according to having new life through Jesus (verse 1)--being a person who exhibits humility, gentleness, patience, loving others (verse 2) and having relationships with others that are marked by unity (which takes a lot of effort; verse 3).
Paul was comparing the current lives of the people in Ephesus with how a life ought to be marked. The thing I love about this is that he lived up to his own advice. He didn't make a long list of all the things they were doing wrong as people. He just plainly pointed out how life SHOULD look for someone who identifies with Jesus.
2) Personally-- This is where it all matters. It's fine to know what someone meant to say to people 2000 years ago. But what's the point for me? How is this old truth supposed to impact me? Can I relate? Simply, yes.
I erroneously think that because peace, patience , kindness, goodness, gentleness, self control and compassion are fruits of the Spirit that I shouldn't have to work hard to cultivate them. I get upset that I've not mastered certain skills and fruits in my life because I have unrealistic expectations to "arrive" in these areas simply because I am redeemed. Because of this I don't cut myself a break as I learn and grow --or others for that matter.
This hardness of heart HUGELY undermines unity and is about as self (and others) loathing as it gets. To beat oneself and others up for faith being a process is ridiculous; where is the love in that?
The goal should be to love people without expectations, without judgement and without strings attached. Below are three practical responses that I've chosen for myself. Yours might be different, feel free to add them to the comments.
When someone is boastful and arrogant I choose to...
...let it run it's course. There's no need to point out a folly of someone and shame them. When did shame ever lead to a good thing in my own life? I will choose to lead by example in this area.
When someone is cruel I choose to...
...be gentle and kind. Both to them and to the person or people that have been hurt.
When I'm on the verge of useless conflict I choose...
...to count the cost of my words and actions as they relate to others. Is it really worth the discord and destruction just to be right? Just to make my point? To have my own way in this situation?
Make it simple:
- Impatience vs Grace
- Cruelty vs Compassion
- Arrogance vs Meekness (humility)
****Bonus
I never really thought before this study how humility doesn't need to point out the errors of others. Jesus spent more time in his ministry asking questions than making statements and casting judgements. My prayer is to be more like my Lord.
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Sunday, March 22, 2015
Who I am Hates Who I've Been
All the links on this post lead to where I got my point from (scripture verses, songs, sermons). Please click through as you go and read, listen and learn for yourself.
Have you heard the Reliant K song the title is in reference to? This morning at church, the Pastor's sermon Found Here (March 22, 2015) , was on the passage Philippians 3:10-16. He had many great points, but today I am only going to speak on one. While listening to the message, one thing became glaringly apparent to my heart--I would rather make excuses about why I am inadequate for something than take the risk of failure.
I don't know about you, but I have the nasty habit of living out of who I used to be. That girl who was selfish, rude, spoiled, damaged, broken, angry, poor, orphaned, hurt, afflicted, anxious...and I could go on but I won't. I make decisions about what I can and cannot do, what I am worthy of receiving from others, and what I'm entitled to try. By living my life according who who I used to be I am continually disqualifying myself for both kingdom work and moving forward in life.
Scripture says that I have been given everything for life and for godliness and yet I habitually dwell in my inadequacies. In doing so, I undermine Christ's sacrifice for my sin and failures. What's more, I undermine the power of God in my life. I live in fear of 'not wanting to be that person' that I was, and with out moving forward from that past and pressing on, I will remain unchanged. All of those identifiers (whatever they were) have been paid for and wiped away, why bother digging it up? That person has died to their old nature, and is a new creation. The challenge now then is to put to death the culture of 'just getting by.
I confess, if I know that I am not gifted at something, I don't even try. Today I made the choice to repent from doubting the power of God in my life and undermining His provision at the same time. I've been thinking and believing that I could only accomplish things with in my own strengths, skills and efforts. When the reality is I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Philippians 3:12-14's main premise addresses living in the past knowledge of who we are versus living in the resurrected power of Christ. So what's the key to living in the power of a resurrected Christ? You forget who you were but straining forward to the goal--which is Christ. It's a big deal. I've spent the past ten years of my faith journey over thinking this. It's really simple. The passage explains it all. Live up to what you've already attained, however mature you are--at least be that--DON'T QUIT. We are given permission to be imperfect but we are not given permission to quit. He will do it. There's no need to quit or to be afraid to press on (strive for something with the intention to catch it) and take hold (with the implication of significant effort--to win) of what we're called to.
If you're like me, you're thinking "Well, what am I called to?". The love of God isn't a dictating force that governs everything that I do...that's His will. By submitting to His love, I allow His will to be made manifest in my life. Conversely, I cannot obtain God's love through trying to obey His will. His will working out in my life is the natural product of me fully embracing His love. Because my friends, love is a powerful thing--love casts out fear. All these things, fear of being who I was, fear of being discovered as less than or unworthy, fear of failure, fear of judgement; each and every fear I have is overcome by the love of God embraced in my life.
The question is will you live your life as a dead person or one filled with the life of a resurrected Jesus? I'm putting down my shovel and pressing on.
** I'd like to add, if you would like to join my support network and help me in this journey of radical obedience http://www.gofundme.com/cherylfolland follow this link to donate and share. Every little bit helps. **
Have you heard the Reliant K song the title is in reference to? This morning at church, the Pastor's sermon Found Here (March 22, 2015) , was on the passage Philippians 3:10-16. He had many great points, but today I am only going to speak on one. While listening to the message, one thing became glaringly apparent to my heart--I would rather make excuses about why I am inadequate for something than take the risk of failure.
I don't know about you, but I have the nasty habit of living out of who I used to be. That girl who was selfish, rude, spoiled, damaged, broken, angry, poor, orphaned, hurt, afflicted, anxious...and I could go on but I won't. I make decisions about what I can and cannot do, what I am worthy of receiving from others, and what I'm entitled to try. By living my life according who who I used to be I am continually disqualifying myself for both kingdom work and moving forward in life.
Scripture says that I have been given everything for life and for godliness and yet I habitually dwell in my inadequacies. In doing so, I undermine Christ's sacrifice for my sin and failures. What's more, I undermine the power of God in my life. I live in fear of 'not wanting to be that person' that I was, and with out moving forward from that past and pressing on, I will remain unchanged. All of those identifiers (whatever they were) have been paid for and wiped away, why bother digging it up? That person has died to their old nature, and is a new creation. The challenge now then is to put to death the culture of 'just getting by.
I confess, if I know that I am not gifted at something, I don't even try. Today I made the choice to repent from doubting the power of God in my life and undermining His provision at the same time. I've been thinking and believing that I could only accomplish things with in my own strengths, skills and efforts. When the reality is I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Philippians 3:12-14's main premise addresses living in the past knowledge of who we are versus living in the resurrected power of Christ. So what's the key to living in the power of a resurrected Christ? You forget who you were but straining forward to the goal--which is Christ. It's a big deal. I've spent the past ten years of my faith journey over thinking this. It's really simple. The passage explains it all. Live up to what you've already attained, however mature you are--at least be that--DON'T QUIT. We are given permission to be imperfect but we are not given permission to quit. He will do it. There's no need to quit or to be afraid to press on (strive for something with the intention to catch it) and take hold (with the implication of significant effort--to win) of what we're called to.
If you're like me, you're thinking "Well, what am I called to?". The love of God isn't a dictating force that governs everything that I do...that's His will. By submitting to His love, I allow His will to be made manifest in my life. Conversely, I cannot obtain God's love through trying to obey His will. His will working out in my life is the natural product of me fully embracing His love. Because my friends, love is a powerful thing--love casts out fear. All these things, fear of being who I was, fear of being discovered as less than or unworthy, fear of failure, fear of judgement; each and every fear I have is overcome by the love of God embraced in my life.
The question is will you live your life as a dead person or one filled with the life of a resurrected Jesus? I'm putting down my shovel and pressing on.
** I'd like to add, if you would like to join my support network and help me in this journey of radical obedience http://www.gofundme.com/cherylfolland follow this link to donate and share. Every little bit helps. **
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
What if I Stay?
Stay.
The word God gave me as the guiding theme for my life this year. Now to some, that might not seem like a big deal. It may seem trivial and even a little uneventful to build one's whole purpose for a year around the idea of staying. Let me set the scene for you, maybe you can relate to it from another angle.
I am a runner.
Not in the sense of putting on shoes, under armour, taking my iPod and jogging for 3 miles. I am a runner relationally. My habitually cultivated fear of abandonment causes me to high tail it in the opposite direction as soon as I start to get a deep emotional connection with someone. Vulnerability is the single most terrifying thing to a runner like me. As soon as you are vulnerable, you are able to be hurt deeply by the object of your vulnerability. When God gave me the word stay as my purpose for this year, it came with a few implications.
First, I need to build into staying. Work is no longer temporary. Whatever my job is, it is going to be this for a while. This means that I need to make an effort to be skilled at my job, to get to know the employees around me and to be open to correction and improvement. I cannot merely drop out if I decide 'I don't like this job'--God said stay and that's what I am going to do. The old Cheryl bounced from job to job whenever she had a conflict she didn't like at work or found a job she liked better that was advertising for a new position. This allowed me to keep surface level relationships with my co-workers but cemented the chronic distance and isolation I was keeping myself in.
Second, I need to stay presently. Staying is less about planning for the future and more about living in the now. I have a nasty habit of wanting to control everything. I want to do the right thing, know all the answers, plan for any and every contingency and feel anxious if I fail to do so. God is showing me that to stay means to take each day as it comes. Being present in the now is the only way to cultivate relationships what can allow me to be vulnerable enough to trust. If I am always looking to the future, I will miss what is going on right in front of me.
Lastly, I need to stay in the discomfort. Currently, I am working towards having a healthy body. This means that much of the time I am in pain. Good pain. Pain that develops muscles. I am noticing a remarkable difference in my energy levels, my stamina and my athletic ability. I still regard myself as the person I was 70lbs ago and surprise myself each time I play soccer without fainting, or walk 5 km without becoming exhausted, or hike up a hill and be able to talk while doing it! Vulnerability and learning to trust is the same. I need to stay in relationship and push through the pain of developing new muscles. Only through trusting God for the outcomes of sharing my heart with others will I have the deep relationship with Him that I crave. Funny thing, you cannot shut out people and remain close to God. The human heart only has one door. Either we let the Holy Spirit touch us through people, words and events or we don't. There's no 'Me & You God' without His children.
Here's to staying and the revolution it's already starting to make in my heart.
** I'd like to add, if you would like to join my support network and help me in this journey of radical obedience http://www.gofundme.com/cherylfolland follow this link to donate and share. Every little bit helps. **
The word God gave me as the guiding theme for my life this year. Now to some, that might not seem like a big deal. It may seem trivial and even a little uneventful to build one's whole purpose for a year around the idea of staying. Let me set the scene for you, maybe you can relate to it from another angle.
I am a runner.
Not in the sense of putting on shoes, under armour, taking my iPod and jogging for 3 miles. I am a runner relationally. My habitually cultivated fear of abandonment causes me to high tail it in the opposite direction as soon as I start to get a deep emotional connection with someone. Vulnerability is the single most terrifying thing to a runner like me. As soon as you are vulnerable, you are able to be hurt deeply by the object of your vulnerability. When God gave me the word stay as my purpose for this year, it came with a few implications.
First, I need to build into staying. Work is no longer temporary. Whatever my job is, it is going to be this for a while. This means that I need to make an effort to be skilled at my job, to get to know the employees around me and to be open to correction and improvement. I cannot merely drop out if I decide 'I don't like this job'--God said stay and that's what I am going to do. The old Cheryl bounced from job to job whenever she had a conflict she didn't like at work or found a job she liked better that was advertising for a new position. This allowed me to keep surface level relationships with my co-workers but cemented the chronic distance and isolation I was keeping myself in.
Second, I need to stay presently. Staying is less about planning for the future and more about living in the now. I have a nasty habit of wanting to control everything. I want to do the right thing, know all the answers, plan for any and every contingency and feel anxious if I fail to do so. God is showing me that to stay means to take each day as it comes. Being present in the now is the only way to cultivate relationships what can allow me to be vulnerable enough to trust. If I am always looking to the future, I will miss what is going on right in front of me.
Lastly, I need to stay in the discomfort. Currently, I am working towards having a healthy body. This means that much of the time I am in pain. Good pain. Pain that develops muscles. I am noticing a remarkable difference in my energy levels, my stamina and my athletic ability. I still regard myself as the person I was 70lbs ago and surprise myself each time I play soccer without fainting, or walk 5 km without becoming exhausted, or hike up a hill and be able to talk while doing it! Vulnerability and learning to trust is the same. I need to stay in relationship and push through the pain of developing new muscles. Only through trusting God for the outcomes of sharing my heart with others will I have the deep relationship with Him that I crave. Funny thing, you cannot shut out people and remain close to God. The human heart only has one door. Either we let the Holy Spirit touch us through people, words and events or we don't. There's no 'Me & You God' without His children.
Here's to staying and the revolution it's already starting to make in my heart.
** I'd like to add, if you would like to join my support network and help me in this journey of radical obedience http://www.gofundme.com/cherylfolland follow this link to donate and share. Every little bit helps. **
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
What's Love Got to Do with It?
Old habits die hard.
Recently, I've noticed that as far as I've come in my journey, some days I am still exactly where I started. Am I alone in this? Full disclosure, I still see the world through the lens of the girl I used to be. The girl who is desperately seeking love and acceptance but hopelessly suspicious of anyone who offers it--even my heavenly Father. I feel like I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Reminds me of Paul in the book of Romans, "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." (Romans 7:18-19 NIV) I want to live in the truth that I am a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17 I want to live day by day taking each thought as it comes and filter that through what God says about the situation. Romans 12:1-2
Let's face it. It's easier to say than do. So quickly, the pessimistic protector in me creeps up and questions people's motives and even my own. Why did they say that? Why did I get so upset? Why don't they like me? What if I fail at this?
Monday night, a new friend said something so profound that I asked him to repeat it. He said "The responsibility for the consequences of our actions are in God's hands and He's already paid for our sins." Now, that is not word for word verbatim, it was around 11pm and I had been up since 6 am, so please let's not play the semantics game. The point of the statement struck me at my core.
The reason that I've been struggling so much with every choice, word, thought and deed in my day to day life --be it mine or someone I encounter, has been my perspective. I've been thinking that my value , and their value, comes from what we do. What's more, is I believed that making the wrong choice of friends, work, church, hobbies, where I spend my time and money, could potentially derail God's plan for my life.
Two thoughts.
First
How arrogant am I that I think anything I do can derail God's plans.
I've touched on this before from other angles, but it seems that I've yet to master the skill. The beauty of God is there's no failing a test. Like when your parents taught you to ride a bike, you just keep trying until you succeed. The entire time , your Father in Heaven is rooting for you! There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God if we know the redeeming power of Christ in our lives. Romans 8:28-39 THAT becomes our identity. It becomes our mode of operation. If we are to love others as we love ourselves, we first have to love ourselves the way God loves us. Which, means that we are spotless and blameless, already made righteous (that is right with God). There's no mistake, ours or someone else's that is too big, that His love can't heal and overcome. 1 Peter 4:8
Second (Also said by the same friend, pretty sure he has a mainline to God)
The past is paid for , the future hasn't happened yet, and God's grace is sufficient for today.
We have already been justified. Romans 5:1-2 Which means that we don't have to make excuses, to hide or put blame on anyone--not even ourselves. Do we need to confess and submit to what is a better way--by all means yes! Grace creates an attitude of obedience not a book of rules that must be kept. It's a journey and journeys take time.
This brings me to a concluding question.
How can I embrace who God says I am?
If I need to love myself the way that God does so that I can love others without self motivated thoughts getting in the way--where do I start? The Sunday School answer is the Bible. Most believers have a pretty good academic understanding of what the Good Word says about identity in Christ. I mean, I have a degree in the Bible and I still struggle deeply with grasping the depth of God's love and how it applies to my life. The thing that's changing it is truth tellers in my life.
Get plugged in. In a world that is mobile, online, fast paced and ankle deep we need to seek out those iron sharpening iron relationships. If Christ really is the most important thing in your life, if the Gospel really is humanity's only hope, what are we waiting for? Find a group. Make a group. Be vulnerable. Share your struggles. Pray together. Love one another, and in that , you'll know on a heart level--a heart changing level-- the life changing love of God.
Recently, I've noticed that as far as I've come in my journey, some days I am still exactly where I started. Am I alone in this? Full disclosure, I still see the world through the lens of the girl I used to be. The girl who is desperately seeking love and acceptance but hopelessly suspicious of anyone who offers it--even my heavenly Father. I feel like I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Reminds me of Paul in the book of Romans, "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." (Romans 7:18-19 NIV) I want to live in the truth that I am a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17 I want to live day by day taking each thought as it comes and filter that through what God says about the situation. Romans 12:1-2
Let's face it. It's easier to say than do. So quickly, the pessimistic protector in me creeps up and questions people's motives and even my own. Why did they say that? Why did I get so upset? Why don't they like me? What if I fail at this?
Monday night, a new friend said something so profound that I asked him to repeat it. He said "The responsibility for the consequences of our actions are in God's hands and He's already paid for our sins." Now, that is not word for word verbatim, it was around 11pm and I had been up since 6 am, so please let's not play the semantics game. The point of the statement struck me at my core.
The reason that I've been struggling so much with every choice, word, thought and deed in my day to day life --be it mine or someone I encounter, has been my perspective. I've been thinking that my value , and their value, comes from what we do. What's more, is I believed that making the wrong choice of friends, work, church, hobbies, where I spend my time and money, could potentially derail God's plan for my life.
Two thoughts.
First
How arrogant am I that I think anything I do can derail God's plans.
I've touched on this before from other angles, but it seems that I've yet to master the skill. The beauty of God is there's no failing a test. Like when your parents taught you to ride a bike, you just keep trying until you succeed. The entire time , your Father in Heaven is rooting for you! There is nothing that can separate us from the love of God if we know the redeeming power of Christ in our lives. Romans 8:28-39 THAT becomes our identity. It becomes our mode of operation. If we are to love others as we love ourselves, we first have to love ourselves the way God loves us. Which, means that we are spotless and blameless, already made righteous (that is right with God). There's no mistake, ours or someone else's that is too big, that His love can't heal and overcome. 1 Peter 4:8
Second (Also said by the same friend, pretty sure he has a mainline to God)
The past is paid for , the future hasn't happened yet, and God's grace is sufficient for today.
We have already been justified. Romans 5:1-2 Which means that we don't have to make excuses, to hide or put blame on anyone--not even ourselves. Do we need to confess and submit to what is a better way--by all means yes! Grace creates an attitude of obedience not a book of rules that must be kept. It's a journey and journeys take time.
This brings me to a concluding question.
How can I embrace who God says I am?
If I need to love myself the way that God does so that I can love others without self motivated thoughts getting in the way--where do I start? The Sunday School answer is the Bible. Most believers have a pretty good academic understanding of what the Good Word says about identity in Christ. I mean, I have a degree in the Bible and I still struggle deeply with grasping the depth of God's love and how it applies to my life. The thing that's changing it is truth tellers in my life.
Get plugged in. In a world that is mobile, online, fast paced and ankle deep we need to seek out those iron sharpening iron relationships. If Christ really is the most important thing in your life, if the Gospel really is humanity's only hope, what are we waiting for? Find a group. Make a group. Be vulnerable. Share your struggles. Pray together. Love one another, and in that , you'll know on a heart level--a heart changing level-- the life changing love of God.
Photo Credit |
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
The Power of a Story
Ever feel like you're on the cusp of a major break through? You get this overwhelming and expectant feeling that something big is coming but you can't quite put your finger on it?
Yea, me too.
It's an exciting place to be. What's more, is when the people in your life start to sense it to and affirm it in your life.
Lately, I've had the opportunity to be involved in music, speaking and mentoring ministry. It's been a long time since I felt like I was in my element. Exactly where God needed me to be and using the gifts that He's given me in such a way that it puts sparks in people's hearts. This past Sunday, I was so humbled after sharing my story by the people who came to talk to me afterwards.
People who I thought had it at least more together than I do. It's good to be reminded that everyone is messy and everyone can build into other people's lives. Each of us has a story that can impact others in their own journeys. The power of a story is enormous. Think of the best movie or book that you've enjoyed recently. Why was it so impactful to you? It was the story. Something in the way the writer portrayed the characters and the events that shaped them resonated with you. Our stories are even more powerful for two reasons.
1) Our stories are true. When we go to see movies, get our PVRs for our favourite tv shows, or get lost in the most recent best seller--it's fiction. Yet, if you're like me, your emotions still get tied in. You smile, laugh, cry, get angry and feel loss when your favourite movie series, show or trilogy comes to an end. But a true story told by the main character to a live audience gives more than inspiration--it gives hope.
2) Our stories last. I love movies, novels and tv. I'll be honest--I could be a nobel prize winner if I didn't fill up all that space in my mind with movie and tv trivia. All things aside, nothing has ever changed my life the way a real story does. I can remember key phrases from stories people have told me that triggered understanding in my own heart.
Your story matters. No matter how small, huge, cruel, insignificant, funny, serious, eventful, boring it is. The events in your life and the way they've shaped your character can be used to give people courage and hope in their own journey. Don't be shy, be a story teller.
Monday, January 5, 2015
What They Don't Tell You About Being an Adult
Photo Credit |
I am a friendly person. All my life I've had an easy time of making friends. I'm the person that the introvert stands beside at a party so they don't have to talk to strangers. Only, now that I am a grown up and moved away from my college friends, I don't get invited to parties.
If you're like me, you're a product of a mobile global world. You no longer live in the town you grew up in, nor do you still live in the same community you went to college. You've likely changed jobs a few times since and still have long distance conversations with your closest friends. You spend more time on Netflix and Facebook than you do meeting people--and trouble is, so do all the other adults like us.
The question remains, where do grown ups make friends? I've got some ideas that I'm committed to try this year. Post in the comments things that work for you.
1) Join a group on Meet Up.
www.meetup.com is a website that sounds sketchier than it is. It's NOT for hook-ups and sleazy relations like Tinder and other infamous sites. It's geared for finding people in your area with similar interests. Social media driven by strangers who love meeting new friends. There's groups for Hiking, Movies, Pubs, Restaurants, Concerts and many other interests. There's accountability as it's all public, so you don't have to worry about security like with other apps or websites.
http://www.everywhereist.com/meeting-online-friends-for-the-first-time-my-10-safety-tips/ Has some good tips about meeting friends from online in public for the first time.
2) Work friends
Never underestimate the people you spend your days with. Some of you are fortunate enough to work in a place that has a lot of people. When we're kids, we are friends with our classmates. In college, we're friends with our roommates and dorm mates. Why do we stop this when we enter the working world? My workplace has a lunch room. There I put my friendly nature into play by asking simple get to know you questions. Facebook has sort of ruined this for us. It lays out everyone's likes, dislikes, friends and hobbies. At work, we actually have to figure those things out for ourselves. Pay attention to the work room chat and jump in. Here's a few things to keep in mind.
http://www.careerealism.com/friends-work/
3) Take yourself on cool dates
At first, this one felt really awkward.
Taking myself out places that are usually reserved for couples and friend groups leaves you feeling vulnerable. After a while though, regulars at pubs, parks, cinemas and cafes started to recognize me. Before too long I had some new friends. Sometimes, I end up having a really nice time by myself. More often than not though I end up finding the only other brave single person there and we band together. Safety tips for this are similar as meeting online friends--always tell SOMEONE where you are going and when you plan to be home again. My most famous phrase is 'if you don't see me post on Facebook tonight--call my cellphone'.
Basically, have fun, be yourself, don't over think it, be safe and talk to other people and not your phone. Our biggest detriment to our success is our smart phone. We text people to tell them how lonely we are when we could just talk to the person next to us who is doing the exact same thing.
Add your voice:
Post in the comments any friend catching ideas that have worked for you.
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Monday, December 22, 2014
Free Gifts--Gift implies free doesn't it?
This week has been a week of God doing a revolution in my heart and mind and soul about some things. All I can say is as I've been meeting him in the tender and often hidden places of my questioning heart, he is meeting my mental, emotional and physical needs. Christmas is usually a really hard time for me, and this year it is a time a affirmation and discernment rather than loneliness and sorrow. I've been surrounded by people (both near and far) who love me. Some love Jesus, some don't and some are unsure who is right in this world. All I know, is that regardless of anything else that I am, I am 100% sold out for Jesus. I am beyond thankful for his sacrifice on my behalf and how we can add NOTHING (no rules, no addendums, no check lists) to the gift freely (FREELY--as in you can come however you are) given on the cross. I can rest knowing that my sins both willful and otherwise have already been paid--I don't have to hide who I am or what my struggles might be for fear of judgement. "Perfect love casts out fear, for fear has to do with punishment" and the punishment for sin is paid in full. Thank you Jesus.
Sorry for the rant....but also, not really.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Gleaning from Moses' Talk with God
God Cares.
He cares about my pain, my dreams, my needs, my plans, my wants, my hopes, my heart, my life--all of it.
When nothing seems to be going right, when I'm trapped in oppression and depression, God cares. Did you know that even 'watching' is a verb? It's an active thing, it's something that God does. That was a new thought to me. There are a few verbs that God does that I always pictured as being inactive, I've never been more wrong.
The story when Moses encounters God in the burning bush, and God says "I have listened, I have heard, I have seen and I have had compassion" He doesn't stop there and say " And now I will take away all the hard things and make your path easy." He says "Now, YOU , go and do this in my name and I will be with you."
God tells Moses to go and say and do things and that God will be with him and deliver him IN the obedience."
I think we expect that rescue from Heaven means no more pain, no more suffering, no more trials, no more struggle....just smooth sailing and happiness. We think that protection and provision needs to be on our terms. When we pray 'Your will be done in this situation' what we really mean is 'God I want this and I know it's a good idea, so your will must be my will and therefore your will be done, because it's my will I know it' I just expect that me working really hard at something means that God will show up the way I want Him to. How many times will it take to learn that no one commands God, that He will show up HOW and WHEN he chooses and that sometimes showing up is listening, watching, hearing and being moved with compassion. Sometimes showing up is giving us the skills and the courage to do the hard things. All I have to do to watch Him show up, is to show up myself.
I don't know about you, but I'm showing up.
He cares about my pain, my dreams, my needs, my plans, my wants, my hopes, my heart, my life--all of it.
When nothing seems to be going right, when I'm trapped in oppression and depression, God cares. Did you know that even 'watching' is a verb? It's an active thing, it's something that God does. That was a new thought to me. There are a few verbs that God does that I always pictured as being inactive, I've never been more wrong.
The story when Moses encounters God in the burning bush, and God says "I have listened, I have heard, I have seen and I have had compassion" He doesn't stop there and say " And now I will take away all the hard things and make your path easy." He says "Now, YOU , go and do this in my name and I will be with you."
God tells Moses to go and say and do things and that God will be with him and deliver him IN the obedience."
I think we expect that rescue from Heaven means no more pain, no more suffering, no more trials, no more struggle....just smooth sailing and happiness. We think that protection and provision needs to be on our terms. When we pray 'Your will be done in this situation' what we really mean is 'God I want this and I know it's a good idea, so your will must be my will and therefore your will be done, because it's my will I know it' I just expect that me working really hard at something means that God will show up the way I want Him to. How many times will it take to learn that no one commands God, that He will show up HOW and WHEN he chooses and that sometimes showing up is listening, watching, hearing and being moved with compassion. Sometimes showing up is giving us the skills and the courage to do the hard things. All I have to do to watch Him show up, is to show up myself.
I don't know about you, but I'm showing up.
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